I think the worst feeling in life is not
being noticed. By that, I mean really feeling like one can see you. It's
like people can't see you; you are invisible in their eyes. When I feel like
that, I know that I, myself must change things in order to make people see me
again. You can't expect people to change by themselves; they can't suddenly
decide to be able to see you.
Why am I making such a big deal about this?
This phenomenon sometimes defines what it means to be Asian or Pacific
Islander in the US. You are technically invisible in the eyes of white
people and society in general. They don't see us, because they think we are
such a small population. Technically, they are correct. Asians and Pacific
Islanders are around 10 million people in the United States as compared to
220 million white people. Then can you imagine how it feels to be a gay
Asian or Pacific Islander in the gay male community? Let's do the math, so
you can see just how invisible you or I can be:
~10 million Asians and Pacific Islanders
~220 million white people
If 10% of Asians and Pacific
Islanders are non-heterosexual (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer,
etc.), then you will have a population of 1 million Asians and Pacific
Islanders. That's roughly the number of Asians and Pacific Islanders
living in Los Angeles County.
If we use the same 10%, then there would be
22 million non-heterosexual white people. That's roughly 2/3 (two-thirds)
the number of people living in California!
If you can then imagine that there are
approximately 22 non-heterosexual white guys for every 1
non-heterosexual Asian or Pacific Islander, then you can see how
invisible you might feel.
